For a ripped, genius CEO that this guy clearly (thinks he) is, this is one of the most obviously “no shit, Sherlock” statements ever uttered in human history. I’m literally unsure how to proceed in attempting to covey the grandeur of the palm slap on my forehead when I read this statement.

Dude brah, you went to a site meant to connect women who want to get money with dudes who want women who need money. But you came expecting love and monogamy and “not crazy” women who dawned over you.

Let me give you a tip, just to help you out in the rest of your life: no, the dancers at your local strip club don’t really want to date you, her name isn’t really “Sparkles”, and she’s not a struggling college student who just started working at the club last week as a joke. She didn’t fall in love with you during those two lap dances she gave you. And while she’ll happily bleed you dry in the Champagne Room, she’s never going to date you.

Well, actually, if you spend $200,000 and let her live with her boyfriend, she’ll totally date you. Carry on!